Called To Care
With the recent launch of Joy in the Mourning Ministries, there has been a lot of thought into the reason behind the calling for this ministry. Is it needed? Why is it needed? How is it needed? The list of questions goes on and for every question, there is an answer and about 5 more questions to follow. At the end of the day, it boils down to this simple truth: We are called to care.
In Proverbs 11:25, we are told that generous people will be blessed. It says, "...He who waters others will be refreshed." As one thinks on being generous, a lot of the time, money is what comes to mind, but I am urged to think a little differently than the norm; what else can we be generous with? Here are five examples that come to mind:
1) Our time: Maybe this means setting aside a specific time each week to write an encouraging note or send an encouraging text. Even getting up five minutes earlier to type and encouraging text to someone can be a way of being generous.
2) Our attention: This could mean being more intentional when we gather with friends and loved ones. Instead of scrolling our phones looking for topics of conversation, we can try to be technology free and get to know each other deeper than surface level. Ask questions like: How is work really going? What is a hobby you used to enjoy, but haven't done in a while? Putting thought into where we focus our attention is another great way of being generous!
3) Our gifts: It is not every day that we exchange gifts with others, but imagine giving those gifts and them never being used. What a waste! I imagine this is how God feels when we do not use the talents He has provided us each with individually. He cares so much that He knitted us together in our mother's womb and gave us each separate abilities so that we could be better together. In this focus of generosity, using our gifts generously could mean gifting baked goods to a friend that has been down, offering to clean someone's house or babysit for them so they can have some extra time to rest, or finding a creative way to gift your skills and talents for others as a source of encouragement.
Now I know what some people may be thinking: All of these are great for people who are not grieving, but what about me? What about the way I need help and do not know how to ask or who to turn to? What about me feeling tired and stressed and burdened by the weight of grief; so burdened that I do not have extra attention, extra time, or extra talents to share?
Well, I am here to tell you...THAT IS OKAY.
If you are currently enveloped in your grief journey, let me be the first to tell you that you are not alone, even when it feels like it, and it is okay to be served instead of serving others. Let me also encourage you to reach out to someone for help, even if it is with a little task. In the same way you may not know how to ask, other people may not know a need or how to serve, even though they want to be helpful. If you can, take that first step! You are helping yourself and others and may find a sense of joy in the community that comes from that one hard step. (If that is too overwhelming, that is okay and that is why this ministry exists. Send an email to us at support@joyinthemourningministries.org if you want prayer or support in any way.)
These last two ideas of how to care are for both the grieving and the non.
4) Our expressions of love: Maybe this comes across in being more honest or maybe it comes across in giving hugs and compliments more often! Have you ever experienced a situation and thought, "I really love their smile, but I don't want to tell them?" Maybe not that exact scenario, but one similar enough may be coming to mind. Well, by choosing to express our love through our words or actions instead of keeping it all inside will not only encourage the other person we are expressing encouragement to, but also will help us feel encouraged. (Not sure why, but just try it; it works!) Side note: Something that changed my life was about a year and a half ago, at the end of September, a friend and I expressed care and concern for each other. We were both going through heavy times and both did not know how to support each other, so we agreed to each sign up for counseling. If that friend had not loved me in that way, I would not be the person I am today. A little love goes a long way!
5) Our care (for others and self): This one sounds simple and can still be the hardest task of all. Maybe you are good at loving others and being generous in the ways mentioned above. Maybe you are good at being mindful of others and enjoy caring for them by being observant and caring about their desires, dreams, and needs. Maybe you enjoy knowing others deeply and want others to enjoy knowing you in the same way. Something I have learned in my grief journey so far is that we can not always be so focused on others that we forget to care for ourselves. Maybe this means scheduling out alone time, making your favorite coffee or tea, and journaling. Maybe it means calling a friend when feeling low because you need a listening ear. Maybe it means being more active as a way of being a good steward of your body and the care it needs. No matter what it is, caring for yourself is just as important as caring for others. The old saying holds true, "You can't pour from an empty cup." The only way for a cup to be filled after being poured out is to be refilled, re-charged, re-cared for. So, please, do not neglect yourself.
At the end of the day, no matter if you are on your own grief journey or if you are standing alongside someone who is, our calling does not change. We are called to care. So, as a small challenge for the week, pick one way to care for yourself this week and one way to care for someone else and DO IT. If you are a planner like me, write it down on a specific day to ensure that it happens. If you are not so type A, think on it and just give it a try. At one point or another, everybody experiences grief. We are all in this together, so let's care for each other in the small ways so we can be there when the big waves come.
