Grace As You Grow
The last couple of weeks have been filled with loneliness for me, although there have been sweet moments with people I am thankful for mixed in. I realized I was feeling lonely when I was spending more time than normal on my phone and giving my attention to pointless things that would not benefit me long term. Is there a time and a place to spend time this way? Definitely, but I am learning the importance of being aware of what emotions I am experiencing and not letting myself overlook those feelings as a temporary escape or emotional band aid.
Maybe, like me, something has felt off to you at recent times. Maybe sometimes everything feels off to you for a long time. I go through those moments, too, and have no doubt it is a normal part of the grieving experience. As I sit and consider these varying emotions we get to experience similarly, but differently, I am urged to think about the purpose of our natural inclination and what can happen when we put forth effort to step outside of what is easy and act on what is going to grow us through the pains of grief.
One thing that comes to mind is that the kind of change we have experienced, the change of losing someone, is not often a choice, but other kinds of change can be. We get to choose if we want to sit in our grief, sit in our numbing habits, sit in our loneliness, etcetera. We also get to choose not to! We get to choose to be kind to ourselves and try to grow, we get to choose to put away distractions and focus on our current emotions, and we get to choose to reach out to others that will help remind us we are not alone, even on the days that feel so lonely.
As the warmer days are upon us (which, in North Carolina, can seem to change as much and as quickly as my emotions) and sweet memories of good times with the people we miss fill our mind, we can smile in knowing the good times happened and we can smile in knowing there are still good times to create with others. As we embrace the present moments, let us not overlook the small choices we get to make. Choose to give yourself grace instead of being fed up with your emotions. Choose to step out and fill time with something meaningful. Choose to create new memories and recognize they do not have to replace old memories with people we miss. Choose to find a reason to find joy today. Be in the moment and give yourself grace as you are growing through every change.
Find comfort in knowing that Christ has that grace and mercy for us and gives us that supply we need by the day. If the God of the universe allows us to find mercy from Him repeatedly, it is only fair to give ourselves that same gift. Let that be your encouragement this week as you remind yourself to find grace as you grow; "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23
