The Shepherd and the Light
As I have been continuing in my study on the names of God, one that stood out to me recently is Yahweh Rohi, meaning God is our Shepherd. Of course we know that, but I needed the reminder of all that entails. A shepherd knows that his sheep will go astray, yet dedicates his entire life to protecting them at all costs, including sleepless nights and sharing watching tasks with other shepherds so that the sheep are guarded all night long.
In being more mindful of God as my shepherd over the last week, I have been more attune to all the poor decisions I make regularly. I not only do things that show I need His rescue, but I do things that are not beneficial to me, yet He cares enough to rescue me and provide for me continually, knowing all along that I will mess up again and need rescue again. After recognizing this in myself, I must ask what this means for me in my grief. I am finding I often choose to let fear, doubt, and dwelling on the past steal my joy. The overwhelming sadness comes creeping in and taints the views of what could be wonderful experiences. I often find myself throwing pity parties and sitting in the feeling that “no one cares about me” in my grief, forgetting that there is the One that cares about me beyond my comprehension. He is the one that knows that I will go astray without fail, knows that I will be bogged down by dreadful replays in my head of past events, knows that I choose to focus on myself instead of Him so often, yet He chooses to care for me at all times anyway. He chooses to continue being faithful to me and providing for me.
The following verses are often used to read over someone on their deathbed, but I think they can be of even more comfort to us who are walking daily in our grief. Let me put them here and explain what I mean after.
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” -Psalm 23:1-4
The part that stands out to me is the part about “walking through the valley of the shadow of death” because that is what we do daily in our grief. Loss has come too close and now, as it has passed, we are walking in the shadows. It still lingers. We can not always see it, but we know it is there. Yet, He cares. Shadows are scary, but, because of our Shepherd that knows what is causing the shadow, we do not have to be afraid. Now, do not get me wrong, fear is valid and a real emotion. It is also okay to recognize that we have a choice in fear. We can choose to let it rule our thoughts and dictate our actions or we can choose to run to the shepherd that holds us close and watches out for us knowing we will go astray. We get access to the one that guards us at all times.
Let our joy this week come from knowing that we are each in the flock that is being guarded by the ultimate shepherd. Let us give each other grace as we encounter other sheep acting out in their own valleys of shadows. Let us be kind to ourselves as we work to cling to the shepherd, the protector, the comforter, the father who sees us more than any human could. There is much to find joy in this week, so let us put forth an effort to choosing to flee fear and cling to our comforter as we walk through the shadows each day. After all, He is also the light and nothing in the shadows can hide from the light!
