Unexpected Rest
Grief is not often unaccompanied by many other emotions. Sometimes fear, dread, anger, nervousness, and other emotions arise in the process of losing someone, be it before they are gone or after. All the inner turmoil and the back and forth with a few highs mixed between the many lows can often leave us feeling drained, exhausted, fatigued, maybe hopeless, and longing to feel like we used to when "everything was right in the world." Although I can not promise that you will ever feel the same, I can promise there is good news, so let me share it with you!
Matthew 11:28-29 is directly from Jesus. He says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
At first glance, this may just seem like an invitation; a loose invitation from Jesus where it is one more thing we have to do when really all we can do sometimes is put one foot in front of the other and make it through the day. Re-reading the verses, there is a lot more to it than that; a lot more hope to cling to and a lot more joy.
First of all, this is not just an invitation. This is a command. Jesus does not say, "Come if you want to." He simply says, "Come." Is this a gentle command? Yes. Is it a welcoming command? Yes. Is it an optional command? No. Jesus tells us to come and then He WILL give us rest. He continues with more commands: take His yoke and learn from Him.
As I sit and reflect on these three things (come, take, and learn), I have to ask myself how we can do this in the midst of grief. I know all too well how far away rest can seem. Endless nights of bad dreams and waking up to it being reality, constant thoughts of fear or worry, and extreme exhaustion for what seems to be no reason (aside from the major loss being experienced) can all feel so isolating. Recognizing this feeling is when the joy of these verses comes into play.
In our isolation is when Jesus tells us to come. He is telling us we do not have to be alone. We can choose to come to Him when we are ready. He is already with us, so all we have to do is come. Additionally, taking from Him is another delight in the midst of grief. So many times it seems that others give to us for a little while after first experiencing loss, but then people begin to expect from us again. Jesus does not. He offers for us to take from Him instead of asking for anything from us. Lastly, learning from Him is another relief of something to do that will only help us grow and bring us peace. He tells us He is gentle and lowly in heart. Why would we not want to learn from someone that is gentle? In a season of loss, gentleness can be difficult to find regularly. All of this for what? For REST; true rest.
Coming to Jesus is the first step we can take and we can do that by being truthful with Him. All we have to do is pray and He hears us. He knows the desires of our hearts, but He cherishes us enough that He wants us to express those things to Him. He wants us to come as we are, be it angry, sad, hurting, disappointed, or exhausted. He wants us to take from Him because He knows where we are and that we do not have anything more than our wounded hearts to give. He wants us to learn from Him because He is love, He is protector and provider, father, and friend. He is all the things we need when we are in this vulnerable state. He is safety and He is rest. That is the takeaway for me - He gives us Himself, which is rest for our souls. What a sacrifice and what a gift.
So, as we enter into yet another week and we may already be feeling drained and tired from the beginning, let us obey the commands. Let us come, take, and learn. As we learn from Him, we will, as promised by Jesus, experience rest, but unlike what we can imagine; in our learning, we will find Jesus, our unexpected rest.
